Revelation

My dream had come true. I was living in beautiful California. Ever since moving from California to Utah at the age of 13, I wanted to go back --I even spent a couple of summers there staying with several friends. I stayed a couple of weeks at each friend’s house just so I could stay the entire summer and not be too much of an inconvenience. After a called-off engagement at age 20, I again stayed there for a summer to get away from things. I worked for my cousin and enjoyed the beauty that is California. 

In 2008, Bryan and I decided it was time to move to California because of his business and the fact that most of his clientele was there. We did it, and I was loving it! It was hard work, as we both had TWO jobs, but we did it! One day after living there a year, while driving around the beautiful neighborhood full of Spanish-style architecture, perfectly trimmed yards, and beautiful palm trees, I again was thinking, as I had many times before, “I can’t believe I live in California! This is so great; I love it!” What followed was not my thought, but a thought placed in my mind from a loving father who knows all things. It was said in a thoughtful, loving, and sincere voice, accompanied by a warmth that resonated throughout my entire body and gave me goosebumps. “Tami”, it said, “Enjoy it while it lasts, because pretty soon you will be moving back to Utah. That’s where your family needs to be.” I instantly knew in my head and in my heart that this was true, and I cried. I didn’t tell Bryan this, however, because I really was enjoying California and wanted it to happen in its own time and not speed up the process. Bryan had fallen in love with Utah and wanted to go back in a heartbeat, but the only thing that made me willing was that confirmation.

We just passed our year mark for being back in Utah, and now we know a few of the reasons we needed to come back. I’m not saying Utah is the place for us for the rest of our lives, but for now, in this time of our lives, it is. We just recently found out, after several months and several doctors, that Bryan’s cancer is not gone. Because we are in Utah, he has been able to go to the Huntsman Cancer Institute and work with knowledgeable doctors. We found out through his doctor in Provo, that the doctor in California --who had a 3-month waiting list because she was that good-- had completely missed a growth that appeared on his scan. The doctors here in Utah did a scan that found it and wanted to compare it to the scan done in California, and found that it was on both. Bryan went to get a biopsy of it here in Provo, because we didn’t think our insurance covered the biopsy by the doctor Huntsman recommended. The biopsy was unsuccessful in getting a sample, but after several calls to our insurance and talking to several people at the doctor’s office, we found out that we could go to the doctor the Huntsman Institute recommended. The experience between his initial biopsy and the second one was light night and day. The second doctor is definitely an expert at what he does. He had Bryan lie down and arch back in order to do the biopsy low on his neck, because when he stands up, the growth is really in his upper chest. It was done with ease, and a fluid sample was obtained with no problem. During the biopsy, however, it was clear that things weren’t right, as the doctor kept saying, “That doesn’t look good”, referring to several lymph nodes that were abnormal in shape and appearance. When the results of the biopsy came back, the thyroglobulin was at 55,461, instead of the 0 it should be. Before doing the biopsy, the doctor at Huntsman told Bryan that surgery would be the last choice, and that he would want to try to avoid repeated surgeries to his neck because it can cause problems, but after the biopsy and seeing what they saw, he said he would definitely recommend surgery.

He will be having surgery Tuesday, April 12th, and then he will also be having a CT scan to check his lungs and make sure there aren’t any spots there. Wow, this is getting longer than I had planned. If you are still reading, the whole point of this post was really to say how grateful I am for personal revelation. God loves us and watches out for us, and just like the beautiful primary song says, all these trials in life are to, “help us become what he wants us to be.”

We look forward to moving past this chapter in our lives and seeing what God has in store for us next....